I spent a lot of time creating different Jareds. I was convinced that there must be some version of me I would accept. So I tried and tried to find him. To paraphrase Thom Yorke, I kept breaking mirrors, and turning myself into something I was not. The fandom insisted that “me” is okay, “me” is enough, and that “those who mind don’t matter, and those who matter don’t mind.” Eventually, the fandom made me believe it.