whenever sam talks to jack it feels like he’s talking to a young and scared version of himself, and it makes me so emotional
like, when jack tells him that maybe he’s not worth all this, he gets it. sam really gets (or genuinely believes he gets) all that’s going through this kid’s head. because he’s been azazel’s golden boy, and he was meant to be lucifer’s true vessel. so he gets what it means, to be destined for terrible things, and he knows that it doesn’t make you inherently evil, even if people will try to convince you otherwise. and he knows that having faith in people can make miracles happen. he knows that pushing jack away would mean sending him off to a bad path, because he’s been there.
(this doesn’t mean sam is necessarily right in this case, but I understand why he’s fighting so hard for jack)
Has anyone else noticed that Sam is almost never given the time to mourn?
Dean is always the one dealing with pent-up sadness, drinking down his depression and working off any issues he has. But Sam is forever placed in the role of the one to comfort Dean and get him back on his feet. (This is like a total change from the earlier seasons, when Dean was always in the role of caretaker.)
But whenever anyone close to the Winchesters dies, it’s always Sam who has to be the one to look forward. Like, always.
When Eileen was killed, we didn’t even get so much as a one full scene for Sam to mourn. The most we got was about a two second shot of Sam looking at her body with a sad expression. And that’s it. Nothing was even verbally expressed. It’s been the same this season so far with Cas gone.
It’s frustrating to me that Dean is the only one who’s allowed to show mourning. Sure, he’s not talking about it, but there have been so many visual cues that let us know he is. With Sam, not so much.
First thing, anon, our apologies – your ask got buried – but we definitely have a ton of trials!sam in the archive. Here’s a few:
Rude Awakening by Marianna Morgan Pairing: Gen | Rating: PG | Wordcount: 4,631 | Archive: ffnet
Sam coughed again, tasting the bitter tang of copper in his mouth, and then wiped his lips; the gesture too familiar as he had tried to keep this hidden from Dean over the past few weeks. And now the secret was out. But apparently the secret was worse than even Sam had known because the coughing had never been this bad; the blood had never been this much.
General Soothing by callistosh65 Pairing: Gen | Rating: R | Wordcount: 1,900 | Archive: LJ Dean: “Sammy, I need you to be honest with me from here on out, man.” Sam: “You’re right. And I will be.”
Euridyce by bertee Pairing: Gen | Rating: PG-13 | Wordcount: 1,153 | Archive: AO3
Pairing: Gen | Rating: PG-13 | Wordcount: | Archive: AO3
Sam wakes up in an unfamiliar room with Dean and finds that he can’t remember anything past the moment when those angels began to fall from Heaven. He has a sneaking suspicion that something is not quite right.
Sam plummets into a semi-lucid state on the way home, although the moments that are clear are crystal clear; enough for him to know that here, slumped in the passenger seat of the Impala while she’s furiously pulling forward under Dean’s iron hands, here, he’s already home.
107 Degrees by Scullspeare Pairing: Gen | Rating: PG | Wordcount: 6,000+ | Archive: LJ When Sam wouldn’t–or couldn’t–answer the phone, Dean didn’t know why, but he knew it was nothing good. Missing scenes that book-end the ice bath
I’ll Take Care Of You by dragonfly_sg1 Pairing: Gen | Rating: G | Wordcount: 1,500+ | Archive: LJ There was one thing that Dean was better at than being a warrior.
Towards The Lie by septembers_coda Pairing: None | Rating: PG-13 | Wordcount: 3,700 | Archive: LJ
What will Sam remember of his life, when memory dissolves in the line between life and death? And what does he really know, if he were to turn to the truth, about what Dean will do to bring him back?
Beneath The Red Hills by sowell Pairing: Wincest | Rating: NC-17 | Wordcount: 21,000 | Archive: LJ Five years ago, Sam Winchester failed the final trial, sending both brothers to opposite sides of the country. When Dean vanishes without a trace, Sam must figure out how to find his estranged brother and save a small town from the serial killer that’s been terrorizing it.
This episode: proof that if Sam Winchester had a Sam Winchester to watch out for and support him through his crisis about his powers, his nature, and his worthiness, things would have gone a lot better. Sam just needed a Sam, guys.
