Author: laurengilbert573ukyedu

Just stuff cause I’m sitting in line for the Saturday night concert and I can’t stop thinking about Jared and tomorrow and I jut need to do something (on mobile can’t put a read more sorry fam)
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Okay fuck so like Jared just means so much to me?? And I don’t have like an incredible story like he save me, because honestly that was my best friends doing. But like he definitely helped. I just. I don’t know how to properly explain it like I just im sitting here with this weight in my chest that I’ve never felt at a con before. Like nervous and anticipation and just the overwhelming need for this time to be ~special~ and ~amazing~ because there’s this little part of my brain that is telling me I deserve more than anyone else here, that somehow I’m a bigger fan, that somehow my journey and my relationship and inspiration that comes from Jared is more than others. And it’s not true and I don’t know what to do because tomorrow is gonna be special no matter what happens but I’m terrified of being disappointed by the end of the day because an entire year and a few months have been leading up to this and this is what I have been waiting for since we got here on Wednesday and I know it’s gone be over so fast and I just. Need to do something. I wish I could to Jared and have a real conversation with him and Idk he means a lot to me and I’m having trouble comprehending the fact that my life is real and I’m gonna meet him again and this is so long idk what I’m trying to sorryyy