I just feel like I can relate to Dean in a lot of ways, ya know?
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Jared Padalecki : Creation Entertainment Supernatural Convention, Seattle, Washington, March 2018
spnhiatuscreations | 2017 week 3
↳ships | twelve years of sam and dean
Jared’s HOLY FUCK when the bidding hit $6000 is the best.
“I remember the way your soul looked when Death had it in his hand, after he brought you back from, from that, that place. I remember feelin’ jealous that he got to hold you in the palm of his hand like that, remember thinkin’ that’s all I’ve ever wanted to do. Sam, your soul was so bright that it was shinin’ out of his fingers; I had to close my eyes against it. All those hundreds of years of torture, and it was just, just so bright, like a star, like all those stars we used to look up at, and there you were, just. Nothin’ has ever been able to take away that light, Sammy.”
Sorry if this is weird, but I’m a sucker (read: cryer) for Sam sleeping in the Impala instead of inside because he thinks he’s unworthy/not wanted etc… Thanks in advance :0
This might not be 100% what you asked for, but I hope you like it anyway!
Warning for gory descriptions.
The ceiling fan twitches overhead, making its final slow circles in the dark. Everything is quiet, except for Dean’s soft snores and the occasional car passing by outside, a hush like waves as its tires scrape the asphalt. Sam focuses on these things, as well as the dull pain of his thumb bothering the scar on his palm. If he doesn’t, he’ll have to look to his left where Jess’s skin is blackened and flaking. He refuses to look, but he can feel her smile, made crooked by the incoming wisdom teeth which had bothered her in the months before she died.
Sam pulls the thin motel sheets up to his chin and rolls to the right. Dean is sweaty and sleep-warm, his arm dangling over the side of his bed. Sam wonders how he does it. How did he relearn to sleep after forty years in Hell?
Sam isn’t sure when he last slept. Dreams and wakefulness are to difficult to tell apart these days.
They’re sitting in the car when the couple comes out of the church, bride resplendent in shimmering white, her groom’s smile just as bright. Sammy gets up his knees and presses his button nose against the window to get a better view. “Dean, look at the princess!”
Dean smiles and doesn’t correct him. “I see her, Sammy. She’s gettin’ married to her prince.” At ten, Dean’s been too old for fairy tales for years and he knows his dad would prefer Sam to grow up just as quick as he did. But even at ten, Dean’s got his own opinions about that. He just keeps them to himself.
John comes out of the church, dressed in sombre black with white at his throat. He barely glances at the couple posing on the steps. John Winchester may be dressed as a priest, but he’s not here to marry anyone.
He gets in the car just as Sam pipes from the backseat, “Dean, will you marry me? If no girls wanna?”
“Boys don’t marry each other, Sam,” John says roughly before Dean can reply. “Especially brothers.”
Sam’s face falls and Dean leans over the front seat, pretending to help his little brother buckle his seatbelt. “Don’t worry, Sammy,” he says, soft so John can’t hear. “I’ll be your last resort. But you aren’t gonna need me. All the girls will want to marry you.”
Sam beams, then his little face changes, growing pensive. “I think I’ll pick you anyways,” he says seriously, patting Dean’s arm. Dean just laughs and settles back into his seat.
Thirty five years later, Dean strokes a finger over the gold band on his finger, the matching one glinting in the sunshine on his brother’s hand, draped casually across the seat of the Impala, and wonders how the hell Sam had known even way back then.
The thing was that Sam, Dean knew, was perfectly lethal.
Dean would know: he’d raised him to
be.Those wide, earnest eyes never missed
a thing; Sam knew the second someone’s
guard dropped – and that’s when he would strike.Dean had bought Sam his first
knife when he was eleven.Sam’s fingertips had been feathery
light over the blade, his eyes calm and dark. “Won’t you need a knife, too?”“Nah baby boy,” Dean had told him
a little breathlessly. “I just wanna watch you.”
Little Sammy’s only fourteen, but the way his big
brother falls apart for him makes him feel like he has eons after eons of ancient
power; all it takes is a little sweep of his sooty eyelashes from beneath his
dark bangs and Dean is worshipping him; treats him like a prince, like a king.*
Dean whispers stories into his ear as he fucks him
through the dark nights: stories of the boy who would be king, stories of power
and glory and violence, and when Sam wakes up he’s exhilarated and sore and thrumming with something undefinable; he
feels something rise inside of him.*
Sam claws at Dean’s back when he comes, and he’s
shaking when he whispers against Dean’s damp throat: “Tell me the story again.
About the boy.”Dean’s eyes are almost black in the night, wide and
proud. “No baby boy,” he tells Sam in a voice that has so many layers it
makes Sam go dizzy. “You’ll tell it yourself. Soon.”Sam falls asleep in Dean’s protective arms. He dreams
of fire and echoes, and of Dean: strong and black-eyed, kneeling by a throne.