Dean keeps that bullet, like he said he was gonna, but he never gets around to giving it to Sam. For a long while it just sits in his pocket, jarring him every time his fingers brush against it back to the nauseous, dizzying moment when he stumbled into the cabin and saw Sam lying dead on the floor. He doesn’t need that kind of blow to the head on the regular; it puts him off his game. But he can’t throw the thing away. He tries to, once, gets as far as dangling it between his fingers over the trash. He can’t drop it. He can’t shake the feeling that if he did, whatever spell it was that brought Sam back would shatter and his brother would collapse, right then, would buckle at the knees and fall, stomach gaping, blossoming bloody onto the floor.
It’s not good in the pocket, though, somewhere that he can forget and be reminded of it with that horrible shuddering jerk. He needs to put it somewhere where it’ll stay, where it’s always there and he can get used to it, deal with it, understand that Sam’s here and alive.
In the end, he drills a hole through it and hangs it around his neck on a length of leather. It’s better that way, a solid weight, the right kind of reminder.
In a few months time, they’ll be on another hunt and Sam will notice the cord. His eyes will widen and his cheeks will flush, but he won’t say anything, and Dean will think with a guilty shiver about the amulet he did drop in the trashcan a long way back, will think about the spell that was severed by that act. He’ll look at the tight line of tension in Sam’s shoulders; and he’ll tug the bullet out from under his collar, make a face that is half-apology and half-embarrassment, and say “it’s from -”
Sam will pat an absent hand over his own belly, where the scar still sprawls pink and shiny under his shirt. He’ll nod. He’ll still be a little drawn, Sam, these months down the line; still get tired a little easier, still look thinner around the lips, still refuse to discuss in any real detail the staggering feat of his self-rescue. But he’ll reach for the bullet as Dean holds it in the light; will clasp his fingers around it just for a moment; and when he lets go and it drops back down against Dean’s chest, Dean will feel his brother’s living heat against his skin.
Tag: ficlet
They don’t make it to the car in time. The rain comes on hard and fast, and within seconds, the pair of them are soaked through. Dean’s laughing, because he’s crazy, and Sam’s got his arms over his head as if it’ll do him any good, but- but okay, maybe he’s smiling a little, too. Maybe just because of Dean.
The rush becomes less important now that they’re already wet. Both of them had hung around late after school, and apparently, they’re being punished for it. Sam decides he doesn’t mind too much, though. The clouds have been threatening to unleash a storm upon them all day, and now that it’s finally here- well, it doesn’t seem so bad. Even if his underwear are soaked.
“Hey. Sammy- hey. C’mere.” And Dean seems to be having the time of his life. Rain pounding down overhead, he’s got a big grin on his face, and when Sam looks his way, Dean’s reaching out and grabbing his hand. Sam finds himself tugged closer, stumbling right into his brother’s chest, and then- then their lips meet, messy and careless and tinged with laughter. Sam fists his hands in his brother’s shirt and smiles into the kiss, feeling like everything is good. Really, really good.
“Gonna need a shower,” Dean mumbles against his lips. “Wanna go home?”
Sam hums and doesn’t pull away, because past the soaked clothes, Dean’s warm to the touch. He’s always warm. “You sure you’ll let me in the car like this?”
Dean seems to consider that for a moment, then grins. “Maybe. But only ‘cause you’re cute.”
That gets Sam laughing, and they head to the car hand-in-hand. The rain’s not so bad, he decides. Not bad at all.
204/365
I want Lucifer going back in time because 10 year old Sam wanted nothing more than to escape the family business.
Lucifer could promise him that, in exchange for one tiny yes, he’d never hunt another ghost or ghoulie for the rest of his life.
Only when Lucifer get there, back to the shitty motel where Sam’s been left, alone, again, there’s someone waiting for him.
A zanna.
Chubby little thing, big smile, rainbow suspenders, for fuck’s sake.
“Can’t let you go in there, big guy,” the zanna said. Lucifer rolled his eyes, flicking his fingers to send the zanna off.
The zanna didn’t move.
“I really don’t want Sam meeting you yet,” the zanna said, and Lucifer was struck with a sudden sense of size. Too much size. He shuddered.
“He won’t be a child forever,” he snapped at the little spirit. The zanna shrugged.
“He’s a child today.” The voice was too deep for a being that size. “Go back to your own time, Lightbringer.”
Lucifer gave it one last scorching look, and left.
Even underground, it’s hard to miss the faint sound of fireworks going off in the town nearby. Dean listens with one ear and a faint smile on his face, a beer held loosely between his fingers. They don’t have much of a celebration planned for themselves this year, but it’s still nice to know that other people are having fun.
Sam sits opposite him at the table, and his expression matches Dean’s. They’ve got some fond memories of the Fourth, and- hell. Memories are all they can focus on, when things get bad.
“You know,” Dean says absently, glancing from his brother up towards the door, “we could probably see ‘em if we head up onto the hill.”
The smile on Sam’s face says he likes that idea just fine, so the two of them pull their boots on and head out.
The sun has already set, and sure enough, when they get to the top of the little hill that hides the bunker from the world- yeah. Yeah, they’ve got one hell of a view of the fireworks going off a few miles away. Brilliant bursts of red, white, and blue, just like when they were kids.
The two of them sit down together, right there in the grass, each still holding their beer as they settle down. They don’t speak, content to just watch the show with their knees brushing together and the night sky overhead. It’s a good one, too; clear and full of stars. Perfect.
“Maybe we can do our own next year,” Sam says, absent. Dean looks towards him and watches the way the distant fireworks illuminate his features. “For old time’s sake.”
Dean shifts minutely until he’s properly resting against his brother’s side, lifting an arm to curl around Sam’s shoulders. Sam doesn’t fit there quite as well as he used to, but it still feels right. Like they’re always meant to be this way, no matter how much they grow or what they might go through.
“Yeah,” Dean says, and he’s smiling again. “I’d like that.”
They stay out until the fireworks are over, and then a little longer after that. Today has always held a special meaning for them, and Dean doesn’t see any sense in cutting it short.
Besides, it’s nice to just take a moment and breathe every now and again. He thinks they’ve earned it.
185/365
Dean’s gotten pretty good at hiding the times he doesn’t feel so good. It’s usually nothing serious- the common cold won’t kill him- and letting Dad know he’s sick is just a whole lot more stress that the guy doesn’t need to deal with. He hunts monsters; he’s got bigger and better things on his plate than a case of the sniffles.
Sammy, though- Sammy always seems to know.
Dad’s out of town and Dean’s nose has been stuffed up for three days. The coughing starts not long after that, and then the achiness, and then he’s just doing his best to put on a brave face and keep going about his business without making a big deal of it. It’s going just fine, too- nobody at school seems any the wiser, and Dad hasn’t picked up on anything over the phone.
“You’re sick.”
Dean’s baby brother doesn’t get the memo.
It’s a weekend, and Dean might be taking his sweet time to get out of bed. It’s hard to convince his body that it’s worth the effort when everything hurts more than it has any right to, but he’s got Lucky Charms to pour and TV to watch. Important big brother stuff. Sammy’s too old to be sleeping in the same bed as him, according to Dad, but they get away with it more often than not, and that’s what’s got Sammy curled up all close first thing in the morning. Dean’s not about to let it go, though. Not that easily.
“What?” He wrinkles up his nose and gives Sam a half-hearted shove. Sammy doesn’t go anywhere, and Dean doesn’t make a second attempt. “Am not. You’re crazy.”
“You’re all warm.” Sam isn’t easily deterred. He gets right up in Dean’s space, pressing both tiny hands to Dean’s cheek and watching him intently. “Really warm. Toasty-warm!”
Dean shakes his head and huffs. “S’cause it’s hot outside. Duh.”
“And you’re all-” Sam pauses to sniff dramatically. “You’re sick!”
Dean considers pushing it a little longer, then abruptly decides that he doesn’t have the ambition. “Maybe. So what?”
“So you gotta…” Sam makes some vague gestures towards the bed. “You gotta get better!”
“I will.” Dean huffs once more and finally decides to just sink back down into the pillows. They’ve got nowhere to be today, and he knows that Sam won’t tell if they skip training for the day. “Just gotta wait.”
Sam wrinkles up his nose and then cuddles in close to Dean again, pressed right against his chest. Even with Dean’s overheated skin, Sam still feels warm in his arms and it’s nice. “You gotta sleep and stuff. And be cozy. And- and medicine!”
They’re short on that part, but Dean decides to stay quiet about it. “Fine. I’ll sleep a bunch. Okay?”
He’s rewarded with a beaming smile, and Sam hugs him tight. “Nap time?”
They haven’t even gotten up yet, but the heaviness of Dean’s eyelids makes it easy to agree. “Yeah, okay. Nap time, Sammy.”
It’s easy to settle down again, and Dean’s head already feels a little better just for the extra bit of rest. He’ll be over this bug in a few days, hopefully before Dad gets back, and they’ll be ready to go and leave it all behind them again.
Sam might be able to see through his little charade in these moments, but at least he tries to jump in and make things better, too. What else could a big brother ask for?
177/365
can u imagine sam and dean on a hunt that involves an animal shelter somehow, a place that tries its best but doesnt have enough space or resources
and theres this one really scared dog that never lets anyone near him but he warms up to sam and over the duration of the hunt they bond
and when the hunt is over and all the dogs are safe and the volunteers have thanked sam and dean,
sam goes over to say goodbye to that old dog and its like he knows. he looks so tired. and sam understands so well in a way he cant put into words. and he knows he has to leave and they cant take him home and he curses himself for being so predictable and he just breaks down with his fingers clinging to the kennel the dog is in. and the dog is whimpering and licking sams fingers and pressing up against sam and its making it so hard to say goodbye until sam is just bawling for the first time in years and everything hes kept inside for so long is coming out
and dean walks into that scene and his heart pulls because he wants to help sam and he wants to help the dog and adopt him but he cant 😦 they dont have the kind of life where they can look after an animal but he sees the rawness in sam and for the first time in his whole life hopes they dont have to go out swinging
What are your favorite Supernatural fanfiction? :)
I’m not a BIG fic reader and it takes a lot for me to keep reading but here are the ones I’ve read and loved 🙂
Wincest
- The Truth In The Lie (63, 000 words) – Sam and Dean pretend to be gay lovers while they hunt a monster on a bus tour of Nova Scotia.This one is my FAVOURITE!
- Last Outpost Of All That Is (60, 000 words) – The world is over, and it’s a Winchester’s lot in life to cope with anything – no matter what. The first Wincest fic I ever read and quite often known as THE Wincest fic.
- Crush (61, 000 words) – Five years after the apocalypse didn’t happen and Sam and Dean have settled down, or as much as the Winchesters can ever settle down. A lot of it is written from an outsiders P.O.V, it’s just glorious! Established relationship.
- Courting Death (50, 700 words) – Sam Winchester is supposed to die at twenty-two trying to save the woman he loves from a fire, because he doesn’t have a brother to pull him back. But the night Sam meets his Reaper, he discovers that Death is overly fond of pop-culture references, too beautiful to be real, and reluctant to kill him.
- Windfall For The Non-Believer (35, 000 words) – After Sam’s first Hell flashback, he and Dean work a job that means posing as a couple in a planned community. I really, really love this one.
- Shifting Sands (10, 100 words) – Dean and Sam are hunting a siren. Their first hunt since Dean confessed his true feelings to Sam while under a truth spell. Short but very, very sweet.
- Rome Was Also Built on Ruins (15, 500 words) – Dean is messed up after Purgatory, among other things. Sam needs space. They fight, then split up for a while, but then Dean gets hurt on a hunt. Adore this fic.
- And The Highway Lines Pass By (31, 000 words) – Following Sam and Dean in the first three months after Dean makes the deal. Dean’s voice in this fic is absolutely spot on.
- The Incestuous Courtship of the Antichrist’s Bride (48, 000 words) – Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. This fic is pretty crazy and hilarious.
- Inexorable Gravity (13, 700 words) DEAN/SAM/JO – Dean grew up looking after Sam and Jo. Jo may not be related to him, but she’s still kind of his little sister, and he’s not sure what’s worse: that he’s attracted to her anyways, or that he’s attracted to Sam.
- So Quit Asking Me (2, 500 words) – Sam and Dean are bored on a long drive, so they decide to play a little game. Things get interesting.
It’s not until they’re adults that Sam really notices the way his brother tends to hyper-focus on anything he’s working on at a given moment- most notably, when he’s reading. Dean’s not a big fan of research, typically, but if he gets deep into a book, he’ll be completely absorbed by it to the point of ignoring the world around him. He’ll mumble to himself, sometimes, or grunt at Sam if Sam tries to ask him a question, but until he’s done what he’s doing- or until Sam puts some real effort into bringing him back to the real world- he’s stuck there, seemingly intent on blocking out every possible distraction.
Shortly after Sam learns this, he decides to do a little experiment.
If what he’s looking at isn’t especially old, delicate, or valuable, Dean will sometimes eat while he reads. A bag of chips here, some popcorn there. Whatever he’s got around, and whatever he can eat with one hand while he uses the other to turn the pages. He doesn’t even seem to think about it, most times; Sam’s caught him coming up empty-handed from snack bowls only to reach inside again, apparently not registering that they’re empty at all.
So one day, Sam brings his brother an apple.
He doesn’t speak, knowing full well that Dean will probably not hear him. He’s got his feet kicked up in the library and an old mythology text in his lap, looking like he’s got no intention of leaving the well-creased chair that he’s claimed as his own. He doesn’t have any food with him at the moment, and Sam figures he can fix that.
Sam comes up beside his brother, Granny Smith in hand, and gently places in Dean’s free hand. He watches Dean’s fingers curl around it reflexively, and Dean doesn’t so much as glance up from his book- in fact, just as Sam steps back to watch, Dean lifts the apple to his mouth and takes a bite.
Sam grins and leaves him to it.
Dean doesn’t have the healthiest diet in the world- with every year that passes, Sam’s fear of his brother having a sudden heart attack increases further- but this quickly becomes Sam’s favourite way of getting some fruit and vegetables into Dean without needing to fight him on it. Dean never really seems to notice what he’s eating as long as he’s absorbed in a book, and Sam takes full advantage of it. For the good of his brother’s health, of course.
(It’s also the perfect opportunity to kickstart their old prank wars, should the need arise, but Sam decides to tuck that away for the next time Dean steals his nice shampoo.)
“You know, the weirdest thing happened when I woke up,” Dean tells him a couple weeks after it starts, and he’s got a furrow in his brow that’s more confused than concerned, and when Sam asks him what’s up, he says “I was really craving an apple, you know? Not a pie or anything, just… a fruit.”
Sam snickers at the face Dean makes at that, then points him towards the fruit bowl.
Hell, it’s for the greater good. Even if he needs to be sneaky about it.
166/365
John wakes up and
tries to hide the liquor on his breath with coffee so black it moves like tar in
the dirty motel mug before he gets into the Impala and drives across the
country in search for darkness.When Dean tells Sam
that their father hunts bad things, Sam giggles.Because little
Sammy knows how to hide in plain sight.Sam watches
through his lashes as John packs his bag: holy water, gun, silver bullets.A bible.
Sam rolls over in
the warm bed and pretends to be asleep: Dean is warm and close next to him,
sleeping soundly. Sam can feel John’s tired gaze fall on them for a minute, and
the room is silent with goodbyes he knows John won’t bother to voice.Shuffling steps, a
key in the lock, and the roar of the Impala.Sam smiles softly
into the pale morning light.When Dean wakes
up, Sam’s close: dark eyes heavily lidded, a sleepy smirk that looks
indecent on his young face. His fingertips are feathery light on Dean’s shoulder,
counting the faint sprinkle of freckles there.“You’re pretty when
you sleep,” Sam tells Dean. His voice is very quiet, and Dean blushes like a
virgin.“You’re pretty
when you’re awake,” Dean says, and Sam slides unhurriedly on top of him,
grinding their barely dressed warm bodies together. Dean makes a beautiful
noise somewhere between a plea and a whine, and Sam can smell the guilt on his
neck.It smells like
victory, and Sam keeps smiling when he thinks of John out there: I have to protect you boys.John never
realizes that the call is coming from inside the house. That when he locks
the motel room door, he leaves Dean at the mercy of the most dangerous thing of
all.By the time John exorcises
his first demon, Sam is counting the freckles on Dean’s hipbones with the tip
of his tongue.
sam pining after dean for so long but never saying anything and hes so scared hes being obvious but dean is SUPER OBTUSE and only finds out after sam has gotten hurt a whole bunch (later seasons)
and dean ruminates on it for a long time and starts watching sam a little more carefully and starts noticing all these other things–how sam barely eats and doesnt eat for a day after eating something sweet (as punishment? jesus christ sammy) and how he squeezes his palm if a stranger touches him or if someone says something nasty and meant to hurt or or or
theres so much and dean cant believe he missed it all and he feels like hes going to drown until he notices that sam has noticed him noticing. sam knows deans been watching him and dean can tell sam is thinking the absolute worst
so dean takes sam out to eat (somewhere nice and organic or whatever) and goes on a walk with him around the bunker and tells sam hes so sorry. and he doesnt want forgiveness he wants to get better. and he wants to be with sam. and yes hes serious. and sam doesnt say anything at first and gets up and leaves and dean lets him be for a while and when he finds sam in the library sams got these big wet eyes like hes a kid again and makes dean say it again. and dean says he wants to be with sam he wants to be with sam he wants to be with sam–
and, no, it doesnt get all better after that. not for a long time. theyre both so fucked up and sam is all cut up inside so bad and dean is bad at fixing it but hes learning. and their first kiss is something powerful even though sam acts like a frightened doe after, like dean will just fucking disappear now that sams gotten something he wanted but god damn it sam, you dont have to keep punishing yourself
and dean is so tender and careful during their first time and just constantly asks sam if hes hurting him and sam is so desperate and starved for it and maybe he believes a little now that dean will stick around but a part of him still wants to hold on as tightly as he can just in case it doesnt last, so sams the desperate, rougher one while dean is trying to be slow and loving, hes so awkward when it comes to talking but just maybe he can get through to sam like this, can show sam with his body that he loves him
it doesnt feel wrong or weird and talking about it actually feels good, after dean stops being so damn scared of it. and dean cant feel scared or hesitant at all when sam smiles again, god, when sams so beautiful like that. sam makes it all worth it
Backup bloh 