“When will we get there? If it’s not soon, I’ll die of boredom.” Sam’s stares out the window at the passing Arizona desert.
“Ask one more time and it won’t be boredom that kills you,” Dean says
Dean doesn’t really mean it, of course. Sammy’s a good kid. Ridiculous smart, and easy to talk to. But driving across half the country with a bored twelve year old would make anyone a bit touchy.
He sighs. “Come on Sam, you know the drill. It’s the job–there’s always lots of driving. Dad’s on a hunt in Texas, and someone needs our help in California. He gave you the choice, you could have stayed.”
A dark look passes over Sam’s face. “No. This is better. I like being with you, Dean.” He smiles a very small smile. “I do get tired of being in this car, though.”
“Hey!” says Dean. “Don’t talk about my baby that way!” He runs his hand soothingly along the dash. “He didn’t mean it, girl,” he croons.
Sam rolls his eyes. “You are so weird.”
“This car is a classic! And she’s going to be mine someday, just you wait!” Dean pats the steering wheel.
They stop for gas and supplies in a tiny town surrounded by desert nothingness. A few hours later the sun goes down and, as Dean knew would be the case, they are nowhere near civilization.
“Looks like we’re sleeping in the Impala tonight, Sammy. That alright?”
Sam groans. “Whatever.”
Dean finds a good place to pull off the road. “Grab the cooler, Sam? I’ve got to get some stuff from the trunk.”
Sam looks curious but doesn’t comment.
When Dean slams the trunk shut he sees Sam standing awkwardly next to the passenger door, wondering where to go. They usually eat in the car, so Dean understands the hesitation. “Over here!” he yells, and when Sam sees what Dean is carrying, his face breaks into a grin.
“A campfire?! Really?”
Dean laughs, dropping the armload of firewood. “Yep. There’s a package of hotdogs in the cooler. And I bought marshmallows.”
Dean hasn’t seen Sam so excited in months. We went to that aquarium in Chicago on his birthday, he thinks. Dad didn’t want to, but I insisted. Sammy needs kid stuff. We had to leave early because of the werewolf attack, but he was having fun before that. And that was over three months ago.
He watches Sam arranging the wood in a pyramid, the way Bobby had taught them. Bobby, he thinks with a smile. After we take care of this ghost problem, we’ll go see Bobby. He always cheers Sam up.
Soon the fire crackles and they stuff themselves with hotdogs and marshmallows. When they can’t eat another bite–Sam’s going to have a stomachache in the morning, Dean thinks–Dean looks up at the sky. Perfect.
“Come on, Sam. One more thing before bed.”
Sam grins. “There’s more?! This is the best night, Dean.”
Dean leads them over to the Impala, ruffling Sam’s hair as they go. When Dean leans against the front bumper Sam’s face is puzzled, but Dean just smiles and says, “Look up.”
Sam leans back, and the look on his face is brighter even than the meteors streaking across the sky.
“I’d forgotten!” Sam says. He lays back on the hood of the car so he can watch without straining his neck. “The Perseids…wow, Dean, I’ve never seen them like this!” He lapses into awed silence for a few minutes, but it doesn’t last. Soon he is almost chattering–so unusual for Sam–telling Dean everything he knows about the meteor shower. “People call them shooting stars, but they aren’t really stars, of course, they’re meteors. And this meteor shower comes from the tail of a comet..oh, I can’t remember which one, I’ll look it up next time I’m in school, or at Bobby’s house, he has good encyclopedias, anyway, that’s why we see it so regularly, because we see it every time the comet’s orbit comes near ours. Oh! Did you see that one? Wow, it crossed the whole sky! I think I read that there are as many as sixty meteors an hour during the peak days of the…”
Dean smiles, letting the sound of Sam’s voice wash over him as the starlight fills his eyes. Yeah, we’ll take care of the ghosts and then go see Bobby. Dad won’t like it…I’ll just tell him Sam needs a new Latin textbook. He probably really does, that kid learns so fast. And then we’ll go see a movie or go to a park. Maybe find a zoo. Go swimming…
Dean realizes Sam isn’t talking anymore. He looks over; Sam’s fallen asleep. Dean chuckles. “Well. It’s been a long time since I’ve carried you to bed, Sammy.”
He gets Sam to the back seat and covers him with a blanket. Stretching himself out on the front seat he says into the darkness, “Mom always said angels were watching over us, Sam. I don’t know about angels, but I’ll always be looking out for you.”
written for SPN hiatus creations | Week 16: Dean Winchester
Tag: ficlet
A Hiatus (SPN genfic, 1777 words, G)
I wrote this for @quickreaver for Summergen 2017. She had some super creative prompts but I chose this one: ‘downtime’.
Dean doesn’t notice Sam’s beard growing in until he looks up one morning and double-takes at the mountain man entering the kitchen.
“Dude,” he says, and Sam, soft in long-sleeved T-shirt and sweatpants, blinks at him through a halo of tousled hair. Come to think of it, that’s longer than normal too, curling at the nape of his neck where it’s usually disciplined into something at least approximating order just under his ears.
“You going for some kind of Chewbacca deal?” Dean asks, and Sam rubs a hand over his jaw, back up through his hair which ends up sticking up worse than ever.
“Just don’t see the need to cut it right now,” he says. “I only do it for the Fed outfits, anyway, and we haven’t had a proper case in forever.” Then he shuffles over to the coffee machine and makes himself a fancy latte with one of the bottles of syrup that have appeared on the counter in the last few weeks.
“I’m pretty sure you’ve been a good few inches off an FBI regulation cut for the past five years,” says Dean. Sam shrugs broad shoulders and Dean looks down at his black coffee, sniffing enviously and surreptitiously at the caramel-vanilla scent that wafts in his direction from Sam’s girly turquoise eco-mug. It’s true that they haven’t caught a hunt in a little while. It might be something to do with the Brits; they got so used to being drip-fed leads via text message that he and Sam have gotten lazy on their usual routine of scouring the web for whatever weird stuff might be happening in their line. Add to that, it’s summer, and things always just seem to die down a little this time of year. It’s like payback for the enormous shit-show that kicks off every spring.
Dean sits in stunned silence for a moment, before turning to his brother. “Sam, what–”
“When I was sixteen,” Sam continues softly, like he didn’t just lay an earth shattering, gut wrenching, heart pounding revelation at Dean’s feet, “I came home really upset and told you I thought I liked guys. I was so scared, Dean. All I knew about being bi was the guys in the locker room muttering about beating up any queers that looked at them too long. But, you. You, you remember what you told me?”
Dean is stunned into silence. He remembers that day, yeah. Remembers how clean and freshly cut Sam was as a man-boy, and how blue his eyes were when he cried. He remembers holding Sam against his chest, feeling the protruding bones of his spine and thinking that Sam was both the most fragile piece of glass and strongest cut diamond in the world. He remembers pulling back and saying–
“You told me I could love whoever I wanted, that it didn’t make a damn bit of difference to you. That nothing in this world could make you turn from me or think any less. You,” and Sam smiles, thinking, a little bit of that sixteen year old left in Sam’s thirty-two year old grin, “you told me I could bring a goat to the prom.”
Dean smiles in spite of himself, pressing his shaking hands together. “Sammy, I–”
“You gave me permission to love you this way that day, Dean. And I’ve never stopped, not ever. I told myself if I ever got back out of that cage I’d, I’d tell you. So.”
Dean presses his side into Sam from where they’re sitting shoulder-to-shoulder in the dim light of Sam’s room. His brother has never been anything but brave, and so fucking smart to pick up on the hidden meaning he meant all those years ago, hoping he’d both never figure out, and hoping he would.
Dean turns his head to look at Sam, and Sam is already staring at him. Their eyes catch, and every year of their shared history plays between them. Every beautiful, painful inch, and Dean knows what he’s about to do will change nothing and everything.
“Shut up and kiss me, Sam.”
Dean is pale, and he stares at
Sam with a terrified expression all over his face. “I don’t understand,” he
says, his voice thick with distress, “I thought we – I thought you felt the same!”Sam flinches before he snaps: “I
don’t! I, this, what we have – it’s
too fucking messed up, Dean, don’t you get that? I never wanted things to go
this far between us, it needs to stop.”Dean’s eyes are wide and
glittering in the harsh lightning of the motel room. “God,” he whispers, “God,
I’m so sorry Sammy. I never meant to – I thought. All those things you said, I
thought you wanted this. We can stop, of course we can stop, but Sammy, please
don’t leave!”“I want to,” Sam tells him dispassionately.
“I need. I need to get away from you, Dean.”Dean’s eyes are brimming with
tears when he takes a step towards Sam. “Please,” he begs. “Sammy.”“Don’t,” Sam says, his voice all
ice, “Come near me.”Sam leaves Dean alone beneath the
ugly florescent light of the motel room.When he reaches the parking lot,
John is there; leaning against the impala. His hands are shoved into his
pockets, and he regards Sam with a blank expression.“Did you do as I say?” John asks
shortly. “Did you end it?”Sam’s face is wet with tears. “Yeah,”
he confirms, his chest thick and aching with guilt. “Just please dad, please don’t punish him.”John’s face is dark. “I won’t,”
he says stonily. “If you leave.”Sam closes his eyes, feels his heart break, and nods.
“Get them nice and wet little brother,” Dean demands in a damp whisper against Sam’s ear as he shoves his fingers into Sam’s mouth. “Cause this is all the prep you’re getting.”
Sam moans around his brother’s fingers and makes sure to soak them, because John might be back any minute.
What they don’t know, is that John’s already back.
However, motel room doors are thin and hearts don’t make any noise when they break.
John drinks his whiskey in the lobby. He finishes it off methodically, like meds.
When he’s got the liquid courage to return, the room smells like sex.
John falls asleep dreaming of Mary’s forgiveness.
so you think you might be into wincest: a beginners guide
two queens [adult / 7,843 words]
Dean tries to figure out why so many people think he and Sam are a couple. The answer is…surprising.coast on through [nc-17 / 7,857 words]
A post-first-time fic. With a lot of sex.the art of manly hugging [nc-17 / 1700 words]
Sometimes, you know, Dean just needs a goddamn hug.the little spoon [nc-17 / 2,323 words]
To his horror, Sam discovers that he’s a stealth!snuggler.fall for nothing [john’s pov / pg-13 / 2,372 words]
But John can’t help but notice the way they are around each other, and it changes the way he sees everything.treat her like a lady [r / 6,042 words]
You can never tell when a conversation with a really smokin’ woman is going to come back and bite you in the ass. Dean gets cursed into dating Sam.he wasn’t there again today (i wish, i wish he’d go away) [pg / 2,700 words]
The story of that year.the man of law [pg-13 / 5,101 words]
Sam is cursed into acting out his most repressed urges. Dean points and laughs and enables, until things get a little too personal.this thing that aches like dying, this thing that burns like light. [r / 2nd person dean pov / 1,080 words]
He’s your brother.keepsake [nc-17 / 5,400 words]
Sam has a plan.the wind always at your back [r / 700 words] *
Sam loses Dean. Sam never loses Dean. Sam lets go. Sam hangs on.a thousand shades of red [r / 10,021 words]
Growing up is hard. Sam knows it, can feel it beneath his skin as his bones stretch and his baby fat fades and he’s perpetually hungry.the king of imperfection takes back the prince of mistakes [nc-17 / 3,600 words]
And they lived happily ever after.the air moves in to fill the spaces where my body’s been [nc-17 / 5,300~ words]
It’s not about Dean. Really.
sequel: the frightened inch between our skin [nc-17 / 5,720 words]
So, now that Dean knows what Sam’s been up to, they’re fucking like bunnies. They play footsie under the Formica table in the diner while Dean eats waffles, they make out in the backseat when they’re tired of driving, and Dean wants to know if they can have deep-fried Twinkies at the reception when they get gay married in Massachusetts. Or, well. That’s how Sam had imagined it.you have one saved message [teen / 3,109 words] *
A tag to episode 6.18, “Frontierland,” indirectly. Sam gets a new smart phone.artery [mature / 11,111 words]
Eyes on the road, thought you knew how to drive this thing. Season 2, lost with a map.recall [nc-17 / 6,300 words] *
Sam’s having a hard time telling what’s real and what isn’t, especially when it comes to some voicemails from Dean.speechless [teen / 11235 words]
Dean loses his voice and their rapport is only moderately impaired.baba o’riley and eleanor rigby walk into a bar [nc-17 / warnings: attempted suicide, bullying, religious overtones, underage sex / 33,300 words]
AU: Mary never died and if the supernatural exists, it leaves the Winchesters alone. When Dean Winchester was four years old he almost lost his younger brother for the first time to a fire. When Dean Winchester was eighteen he almost lost his brother a second time to a full bathtub and a pack of sleeping pills, citing some decidedly unbrotherly feelings in his suicide note. At twenty-two he’s about to lose him for a third time to Stanford University. He and Sam’s therapist sit down and talk out the chain of events leading up to and proceeding after what Dean considers to be the worst day of his life. He figures out a few things along the way.i’ll kill you, honeymuffin [r / 1,150 words]
Sam is cursed into addressing Dean by pet names. Lots and lots of embarrassing pet names, such as Pookie and Snookums.last outpost of all that is [nc17 / 60,818 words] *
The world ends while they’re asleep.crown and anchor me (or let me sail away) [nc-17 / warnings: underage / 23,749 words] *
Sam Winchester is fifteen years old, at yet another new high school in yet another state, he doesn’t get along with his distant, distracted father, he’s figuring out that he likes guys just as much as he likes girls, his clothes never fit and his limbs ache at the joint ever since his growth spurt started, he has to study for the PSAT and, oh yeah, he’s a little bit in love with his brother, Dean, who’s taken a break from hunting monsters to work at a local garage for minimum wage.eight things you should know [teen / 7,703 words]
Being in love with Dean is the most annoying thing.are you now, or have you ever…? [nc-17 / 5,000 words] *
Dean’s subconscious is showing. (After a creature attack that leaves Dean feverish and hallucinating, his subconscious makes a connection between he and Sam that his conscious mind can’t seem to shake once he’s well. His newfound realization keeps coming out in the strangest of ways—really strange.)insert tab a in slot b [r / 1,462 words]
Dean and Sam attempt sex. How hard can it be?consider the hairpin turn [nc-17 / warnings: violent imagery, PTSD / 27,692 words]
AU of 6×22: Sam’s wall has shattered and the memories in his mind have splintered. When the Sam who remembers Hell tells him to go find Jess and be happy, Sam knows he can’t stay while Dean needs him. But when the Sam from Hell says that Dean is already there looking for him, Sam leaves his memories of the pit behind to find him. What he finds is a life he doesn’t remember: a house that he shares with his brother (and has for years), a law career he thought he’d left behind at Stanford, and a relationship with Dean he never dreamed he could have. Life is almost too good to be true, at least until Sam begins to hear his brother’s voice calling to him, begging him to wake up.another samulet fix it bc you can never have too many *
dean winchester’s rules for the road [nc-17 / 16,800 words]
If there’s one thing Dean’s learned, it’s that there are rules you have to follow in order to survive. But while hunting zombies on an island off the coast of Georgia, he’s forced to reexamine what might be the (second) most important rule of all.couples’ counseling [nc-17 / 6,000~ words] *
voicemail fix ityou’re possessing me [nc-17 / 3,232 words]
Dean goes looking for something to get himself off to—he’s in no way expecting to stumble on porn vids of Sam. But now that he has, he’s becoming obsessed.blow me ‘verse [ranges from pg-13 to nc-17]
Series of fics in which Sam and Dean sometimes have sex with each other but are totally not gay. According to them, anyway.a bleak understanding in reverse [nc-17 / 12,316 words]
It was hard to imagine that life without monsters could still kill them…leaving the comfort-zone [adult / 4,670 words] *
There was a problem in their relationship. Well, not so much a problem as a hitch, a slight bump in the road that was supposed to lead to freaking great sex and, by that way, to a healthy, normal relationship. Can you say ‘normal’ when you’re referring to a relationship that features fucking and being in love with your brother?flying weight [nc-17 / warnings: serious consent issues, consensual abuse, violence, bloodplay / 48,747 words]
Sam wakes after being soulless for three years to discover that Dean and his relationship with him have undergone some serious changes. Through traveling and hunting with Dean, Sam struggles to put his life back together after events he has only limited memory of.ascalon [teen / 7,855 words]
You and your brother are hunting dragons.fade to black (not while your hand’s in mine) [nc-17 / warnings: violence and non-con situations / “long…18 chapters”] *
The brother that Sam gets back isn’t the same, but Sam’s love is. Sam risks everything and leaves everyone he’s ever cared about behind in the desperate hope that the bond between him and Dean might just be strong enough to transcend what hell did to his brother. Set post Season 3, seven months after Dean’s deal came due and written over the summer before it was AU, this story just kept writing itself and wouldn’t let go until it was an epic love story in every sense, eventually spanning five decades with enough twists and turns to make me dizzy.
sequel: black is the color of my true love’s eyes [nc-17 / 34,000 words] *
Sam tried to thwart death in a desperate attempt to keep his brother human. Did it work or did heaven come between them the way hell never could?fumbling in the dark: love advice for the romantically impaired [nc-17 / 72,009 words] *
True Love really is blind…the incestuous courtship of the antichrist’s bride [nc-17 / 48,000 words] *
Sam is trying to become the Antichrist in order to save the world. He has a small army of angels and demons, he has an adoring cult, he has a work of prophecy by Jack Kerouac, and he has Dean. Things are going pretty well until he accidentally signs Dean up as his Beloved Consort, a role that requires sex with the Antichrist on an altar. And that’s when things stop going pretty well. Also, the soundtrack to the Apocalypse sucks.no line on the horizon [teen / warnings: you’re gonna fucking cry / 9,642 words]
AU. One-shot. It’s the middle of May when Dean shows up at his door at six a.m. with a huge smile on his face, and Sam knows something is wrong.(*fics i haven’t read yet but have either been recced or written by awesome people)
bonus- rose’s recs for noobs:
basorexia this has gotta be one of my new all-time faves. it’s fairly new, takes place in s7 with cas cursing dean so that he kisses sam whenever he feels like— except he doesn’t remember kissing sam after. IT’S SO HEARTWRENCHING AND FLUFFY AND PERFECT FOR THEIR RELATIONSHIP IN THE LATER SEASONS. JUST PERFECT.
monumentally stupid this is another perfect first time wincest fic, literally everything about it is delicious. this one doesn’t have as much humor but it’s so sex is hot and needy, the voices are so THEM, and it takes place in s7, too. also, SHAVING KINK O/
when it’s over end all, be all of s8 fix it fic for me. this one has it all.
mind’s eye same sort of genre as “consider the hairpin turn” fantastic, angsty, first time wincest fic with dashes of hurt!psychic!sam. another one that takes place in s7.
coupons starts off funny and kinky when sam gives dean a coupon book of sexual favors for his birthday, but leads to emotional exploration between the boys. everything by this author is fantastic tbh, she wrote that 2nd fic i recced, the one with shaving kink
mended and whole a great s8 fix-it fic by the same author as above
long lay the world lovely earlier seasons curtain fic what could go wrong (no i kid, it’s actually quite angsty!!!!)
if we keep living this fast, no one will have time to die gorgeous one-shot of sam and dean falling in love on the road. i get nostalgic for the early seasons when i read fic like this, makes it feel like sam and dean are the only two people in the world.
free and clear gorgeous one-shot of sam saving dean from hell. the focus is on their relationship and reunion, not the mechanics of sam getting dean out of hell. very s2 feel to it.
all along, there’s you and me stunning portrayal of the boys’ relationship through the years. you’ll prob tear up xoxo
treasure zombie apocalypse-ish au (croatoan virus apocalypse au?) with badass soldier dean and scientist sam. like, the world building and sam and dean’s relationship in this new situation they’ve been thrust into— it’s fucking awesome.
when it happens ‘verse i feel like i have to have recced this, i rec it to everyone. it’s one of my go-to fics for wincest angst. takes place after sam comes back to hell, it’s just a double whammy of angst and hurt boys and and curtain fic (and dean getting sam a dog!!!!!!!) and them finding their way back to each other. unfortunately the author doesn’t have a masterpost to the verse or link them one after the other so this post is your best bet for that.
the firefly that loves metallica the firefly that loves metallica. you’ve read this one. i know you have. (if not, sam gets dean’s soul from hell and it’s in the form of a little pink glowing ball o/)
a man with his insides out and his outsides off sam travels back in time in an attempt to save dean from going to hell. huuuuurts so fucking good, you will cry a gd river of tears. at least the sex is fucking hot.
or die trying funny, hot, and sweet first time fic where sam and dean try and figure out how gay incestuous sex works. def a classic.
moving your body so brave and so free requisite sam in panties weecest fic, gotta be the hottest one i’ve read (it’s johnny’s)
all in the game, yo same author as the zombie apocalypse au. amazing, amazing world-building in this non-hunting au. sam and dean grow up in the foster system of baltimore’s westside and are fucked up in more ways than one
home not sure if you want to rec a knotting fic, but if you do, this is the one to go with. preseries, alpha!dean.
support and freedom classic weecest fic by lazy-daze with jealous!dean. no wincest starter pack is complete without it.
shepherd of the stray hearts absolutely gorgeous sam pov fic pre-stanford
dating for dummies dating for dummies, another fic along the lines of “treat her like a lady” and “two queens”
It’s normal for them, these days, to allow their
fingers to twine when they’re in public. It finally comes naturally, after all
these years of hiding, to give each other a small kiss in the line at the gas
station; to ask for a king sized bed without blinking.It’s just.
It’s just that sometimes, Sam can’t help hearing the
whispers behind them. The dirty looks they’re thrown in bars, when a rosy
cheeked Sam places a peck on Dean’s cheek. Sam feels their disapproval in his bones, and for someone like Sam who’s
spent his life yearning for normalcy but never conquered it, it hurts.That’s when Dean turns to Sam and places one hand at
Sam’s neck. It feels warm and safe when Dean pulls Sam’s face down, fiercely protective,
and whispers: “Don’t listen to them. I’ve got you, Sammy. We’re good, OK? I
love you.”Sam kisses Dean. It feels so simple, so lovely; and
Sam thinks, Perhaps normalcy is subjective.
Day 3: Sunflowers.
I wasn’t inspired by today’s prompts so I wrote this instead, it’s set in the stanford! era so head the angst, with little bit Sam/Jess. I apologise in advance.
Jess doesn’t know why she makes her way to Sam’s dorms. But she does. She’s known him for half of the past year, and liked him for exactly that long. Sam is shy around her but she’s almost certain he likes her too. He’s living in a room that has two beds, and even when he obviously can barely afford it, he paid the money for two so he won’t have a roommate. Funny how she’s always attracted to weird guys.
Not that Sam is weird, perhaps the right word for it is mysterious. She’s not sure what’s pulling her to him, she knows his looks is not everything. She’d at least like to think she’s not that shallow.
The flowers she finds in front of his door are a surprise. She knows, of course, that she has competition, Sam is, after all, the hottest and smartest guy in the history of ever. But the gesture is unexpected nonetheless. Because girls don’t buy guys flowers and leave them at their doors, it’s mostly the other way around. So that leaves her with one idea that she’s not entirely happy about. A guy left the flowers for Sam.
It’s not something she should do, but her curiosity gets the best of her and she crouches down and takes the sunflowers into her arms. It’s a fairly large bouquet, the stems are almost as long as her arms and the flowers are ridiculously big. She looks for a note but she finds none, and that makes her smile. If there’s no name then she hasn’t a lot to worry about just yet.
The door opens just before her fist connects with it, and Sam smiles at her and for a second she forgets everything and stares.
“Jessica, hello,” He greets, a hint of surprise coloring his features. “Those are for me?” He points with his finger at the flowers and then at himself.
“Oh yes, but not from me. I just found them here,” His eyes widen at the words and he shoves her aside almost violently, and runs the hall in the direction of the entrance. When he’s back his face is shadowed, and his eyes are dark. Sad. It’s there for less than a second before he smiles at her again and apologies. That’s when she learns that his smile is fake. The smile she loves so much is not even his real one.
She wordlessly hands him the bouquet and he takes it eagerly, in a gesture that she’d consider feminine, he hugs them to his chest and bury his face in them. They have no fragrance but he inhales deep anyway. And she can’t see his face but she feels like he’s about to cry.
“So, secret admirer, huh?” She teases, and thank god, he lifts his eyes and looks at her again. When he glances back at the flowers, the edge of his lips is tender, a soft curve that she’s never seen before. He knows who sent the flowers, she’s sure of it. But they banter back and forth and it goes away. She later learns that, that day is his ninetieth birthday.
She kisses him two months after his birthday, and he kisses her back. They move together six months later. On the morning of his twentieth birthday, she finds sunflowers on their steps.
She toys with the idea of throwing them away without telling him, but she doesn’t. Their relationship is going smoothly, and she’s got nothing to worry about. Her gut is screaming at her that something is wrong, but she ignores it. She knows that Sam’s not cheating on her, he’s not that guy, but the mysterious flowers leaves a sour taste in her mouth. Specially at how Sam reacts to them, she’s never seen him smile like that at anything else.
“Dean, please.”
Three months after Sam’s birthday, she sees him trying to melt into another man’s arms. She’s followed him outside the bar without his notice. She couldn’t help it, he just bolted and she moved after him. She’s not meant to see that, she knows. But she stays rooted to the spot nevertheless.
“Sammy, you know I can’t. I didn’t want you to find me,” The other guy- Dean- whispers, but from the way he’s holding Sam like he’ll die if he lets go, Jess knows he’s lying. He wanted Sam to see him.
“You’re being unfair,” Sam whines, and she’s never heard him like this, he’s begging. And he looks so small like that, head on the stranger’s shoulder and face buried in his neck.
“You have a good thing going on here, Sammy. I don’t want to ruin anything,”
“Then why are you here?!” The words are shouted but still sounding like a plea. Dean doesn’t answer, she hears Sam’s sob from where she’s hiding behind the wall. It’s such a cliché, for this to happen in an alley.
“It’s because you missed me, right? Please say you missed me. I missed you so much, Dean.” Sam’s crying, Jess feels her heart breaking. It hurts worse than anything else she’s felt. And they don’t break apart not for a second, if anything they seem to get closer, molding together from how hard they’re clinging.
“You love her,” Dean says “She’s beautiful.”
He’s talking about her, and she knows what Sam is going to say, he shatters her heart a bit more when he actually let the words out.
“I love you more. I will always love you more,”
Tears are flowering over her cheeks, falling down, she stops looking at them, pressing her back to the wall and covering her mouth with both of her hands, trying her best to keep the sounds.
“I know,” Dean says. She hears a whimper, knows it’s from Sam. When she looks again they’re kissing. And she can’t be here anymore, so she leaves. Silent so they won’t sense her.
When Sam gets back that night, he smells different, and it doesn’t take a genius to guess what’s happened after she left. Sam’s eyes are puffy, red. Just like hers. But he doesn’t notice, doesn’t ask her what’s wrong. Doesn’t even bother pretending to be okay. He gently asks her to leave him alone, and locks himself in the bathroom. He doesn’t kiss her for three days after.
When she kisses him, he kisses back, and she just then realizes that she’s initiated everything between then, from the start to now. He never kisses her first.
She also, realizes that she’s the other women, that Sam’s cheating when he’s with her, and that he’s always touched her with his hands gloved with guilt.
She doesn’t say anything.
There’s no more flowers next year, and she thinks maybe they broke up forever after their tryst in the alley. Sam gets better, they’re happy. She’s happy.
She sees Dean again in their apartment, and Sam tells her he’s his brother. Gathers his stuff so fast, and leaves her behind. When he kisses her and promises to be back before Monday, she tastes the lie on his lips, sees the guilt in his eyes. And more than that the hope, that Dean had finally came back for him.
She knows that she won’t see him again. And she doesn’t.
I love it when the first thing I do in the morning is cry because of Stanford era. Seriously, Anon. Thank you so much for this. Seriously, I love when we have the POV of another character on Sam and Dean’s Relationship; we don’t have enough fics like that. I feel bad for Jess though. But this is so plausible…I mean if Wincest was real in the TV show (sigh), Stanford era could have gone this way. This is also so nicely written. Thank you, thank you, thank you! ❤
The thing that finally sets Sam off, the thing that makes him lose his mind once an for all and bodily attack his older brother, is so innocuous as to not be believed.
Sam has seen Dean looking like many things. Sex god, that’s one of his favorites, with the boots and the jeans that hug his ass and bow legs just right. Hair spiked up and leather jacket with the collar turned up. That one usually comes with a smirk on his handsome face and it can make anyone want him.
He’s seen the scrub too. Laundry day, with the blood stained and ripped sweats, yellow tee shirt that used to be white.
He’s seen Dean mostly naked, water dripping from the tips of his hair down his back and chest, tiny motel towel tucked around his waist. That one still melts Sam’s brain enough that he couldn’t function to do anything.
No, what makes him snap is so domestic that it makes his heart squeeze.
He’s been up for a while, checking out the local news to see if there’s a case; much as he loves his time with Dean in the Impala, they both need to stay close to the bunker right now.
Dean shuffles into the kitchen in search of coffee. His hair’s a mess, flat on one side and standing up straight on the other. He’s wearing a rumpled but clean white tee shirt, tucked up on one side, like he’d been itching his hip and forgotten to pull it back down. His legs and feet were bare and he was wearing the oldest, most shapeless pair of boxers sam had ever seen. The patter was faded off the cotton, and they were so thin that sam could see the outline of deans soft dick to the left of the seam.
And it broke Sam’s brain.
He was up off his chair before his brain could process the actions of his body. He placed himself in Dean’s path and when those green eyes opened fully and looked up at him, he palmed the side of Dean’s face and kissed him, morning breath and all.
“Finally.” Dean breathed with a smile. “Back to bed?”
If Only There Had Been More Time
Summary: Sam meets Jess. Sam falls for Jess. They’re young, happy, and in love, but sometimes, that’s won’t get you through the day.
Word Count: 2,601–
The first time he saw Jess, he was pretty drunk. Later, he’d be ashamed of himself because drunk was not often a state he found himself in, but tonight Brady had insisted. Insisted, he said, because there were going to be a lot of hot girls around and Sam had to loosen up somehow. “Trust me, Sam,” the exact quote had been, “you are NOT a ladies man.” Not that Sam had any interest in being a ladies man – in fact, he was far more interested in getting good grades and preparing for the rest of his life. But Brady had insisted. Again.
So just to satisfy his friend, Sam did as was requested and downed four bottles of beer and three shots in quick succession. Honestly, if he let himself think about it, Sam knew he didn’t want to be drunk because it reminded him of his father, but he pushed that thought to the side and focused instead on the burn currently searing itself into his throat.
It was shortly after he’d decided that leaning against the counter was a better life choice than trying to stand alone on his own two feet that Brady entered the room, escorting the most beautiful woman Sam had ever laid eyes on. “Oh, hey,” his equally as drunk friend had slurred in his general direction, sweeping one hand out toward his companion in introduction as though Sam wasn’t already completely enthralled, “this is Jess. Jess, Sam, a friend of mine.”
Backup bloh 