Tag: lauren goes to chicon

boykingsqueen:

My Jared photo op!!♡ | Chicon 2017

Wanted to add my story on it separately so just the photo can be reblogged lol
–
So I found this pose from a photo op on here forever ago, I had the pic on my phone but I wasn’t sure if they were gonna let me show him it or if I was even gonna be allowed to have my phone. And I knew I couldn’t explain this to him (that’s a lot of talking to Jared, a very hard thing for me haha). Luckily the volunteers are super understanding and will hold the phone and show him the pic so to be sure you’re not actually trying to record anything. They took my phone and showed the pic to him for like a second, I could tell he really didn’t see it so he just put his hand behind my back and asked if I wanted him to dip me? I was like wait no and reached for me phone (sorry for holding up the line lol. I was set on this and somehow was brace enough to stand up to the authority of creation) so I reached for my phone and the volunteer brings it back but she had accidentally clicked off the picture, so I had to stand there for a couple of seconds with Jared’s hand on my back while I brought it back up and showed it to him (no complaints here though). He looked at it, grabbed my hand and laced his fingers with mine, and then gave me a stare I swear I will remember for the rest of my life. His eyes are beautiful (as I have said and will always say) and his expression was so kind. I’m cheesin so hard because 1) we’ll it’s Jared, and 2) I was more than a little nervous. He pulled me in for a tight hug after we were done, which I was not expecting at all!! That moment, I felt so safe? Just so safe and happy and I could smell his cologne and just he means so much to me, this photo turned out better than I I imagined.

Just stuff cause I’m sitting in line for the Saturday night concert and I can’t stop thinking about Jared and tomorrow and I jut need to do something (on mobile can’t put a read more sorry fam)
–
–
Okay fuck so like Jared just means so much to me?? And I don’t have like an incredible story like he save me, because honestly that was my best friends doing. But like he definitely helped. I just. I don’t know how to properly explain it like I just im sitting here with this weight in my chest that I’ve never felt at a con before. Like nervous and anticipation and just the overwhelming need for this time to be ~special~ and ~amazing~ because there’s this little part of my brain that is telling me I deserve more than anyone else here, that somehow I’m a bigger fan, that somehow my journey and my relationship and inspiration that comes from Jared is more than others. And it’s not true and I don’t know what to do because tomorrow is gonna be special no matter what happens but I’m terrified of being disappointed by the end of the day because an entire year and a few months have been leading up to this and this is what I have been waiting for since we got here on Wednesday and I know it’s gone be over so fast and I just. Need to do something. I wish I could to Jared and have a real conversation with him and Idk he means a lot to me and I’m having trouble comprehending the fact that my life is real and I’m gonna meet him again and this is so long idk what I’m trying to sorryyy

Last minute decision to spend the rest of my money on a autograph from Gil!! I had met him back at DCcon in 2014, which was actually both of our first cons! But I was so damn nervous and he was the second cast member I’d ever met so I didn’t talk to him (he was super nice though and 100% said something to me that I literally couldn’t hear because my mind had gone blank). Wanted to redeem myself and I succeeded! Was able to tell him I was at his first con and not get blinded by his gorgeous face or kind smile. (Side note: to me, he has the same kind of effect Jared has, he gets a look on his face like he’s really listening, like he truly actually cares and then smiles a smile that makes the world a little brighter. It’s very intimidating lol). But seriously he was wonderful and I love him more and more every time I’m able to interact with him

I keep getting hit with moments of absolute panic and anxiety bc I’m meeting Jared tomorrow, and it’s not so much the fact that I’m meeting him (though that’s a large portion) just that I want everything to go perfect. I want to somehow top my interaction I had last year and I don’t think I can but I’m excited either way because he is an amazing wonderful human being that I don’t deserve to be meeting again

Having the best day, got an autograph with Gil and was able to chat with him about the fact that his first convention was also mine! And had a photo op with Gil and Matt that I am excitedly waiting on bc I think it’s gonna turn out super cute