Tag: oh ow

winmance:

Dean doesn’t cry when Sam left for Stanford. He wants to, but he doesn’t. It feels so unrealistic that his brain needs time to realise it, to realise that his little brother, his lover, isn’t here. That he left him.
It happens four months after that night. Dean just got back from a pretty rough hunt, and while he’s searching for a new clean shirt after his shower, he sees it – Sam’s hoodie.
They did it the first time Dean left Sam to go hunting. Sam couldn’t stop crying, begging Dean not to go, not to leave him. As a compromise, Dean left him one of his shirt to him.

“So you see Sammy, like that, I’m still’ with you. I’m protecting you, even if I’m far away”

Sam didn’t look convinced at first, but he was able to sleep at night and that was still something.
So they keep doing that. Each time a different shirt, hoddie, jeans and, years later, even panties.
Then Sam started putting some of his clothes in Dean’s bag. They never really talk about it, but they didn’t need to.
It was a promise of coming home, of being together again. When you live that life, you don’t own a lot of things. So giving away some clothes is actually big deal, for them anyway.
So finding Sam’s hoodie in his bag – it’s just too much for him.
He starts crying, screaming like a wild animal, cursing whoever did this, whoever put his brother away from him, hating on Sam, hating on himself, wishing he was enough – God, just let him be enough
He ends up sleeping on the floor, Sam’s hoodie around him like a protecting.

Miles away, Sam is crying in Dean Led Zeppelin shirt, his brother smell barely noticeable now.

It’s a promise of love and of coming back.