having rewatched it 2 days ago i can tell you with Some Precision:
sam’s shaking hands patching up his own bullet wound
dean all faux cheery ‘we’ll laugh about this later sam’ as he extracts the bullet
sam referring dean over to the wounded civilians despite having just been SHOT IN THE STOMACH
dean’s absolute outrage as corbin suggests leaving sam behind
dean ‘i’m going to make him a litter and we are going to CARRY him the rest of the way’ (fan art of this please can you imagine, sam reclining like a gray-faced roman emperor)
sam all shaky-voiced in that cabin ‘you guys go on without me… please…’ so sELF SACRIFICINGGGGGGG sam whyyy
frickadicking corbin chOKING SAM and sam’s face as he does it and the STONE COLD HORROR we all felt as it happened omfg what an amazing episode it was
dean out there in the trees so desperate getting angry with a branch and having to take a moment to compose himself A+ work from Jensen Ackles my man
that moment when you’re anticipating dean getting back to the cabin to find sam dead
dean devil-may-care pouring himself a handful of assorted poisons and knocking them back like tictacs
dean to michelle ‘if the doc can’t bring me back, no hard feelings, okay?’, crinkly-eyed reassuring but DEAD INSIDE ALREADY
dean foaming at the mouth
sam REVIVING WITH A WHEEZING GASP i died
the moment where sam stumbles and falls down the stairs all his legs everywhere SO MUCH HURT SAM
sam casually taking out two werewolves whilst bleeding heavily from the gut
sam’s little relieved collapse against the car once he gets to the impala, it’s like she’s alive and she’s his friend
the moment when dean hears sam’s voice on the phone and his shaky ‘oh thank god’
SAM SHOOTING GODDANG CORBIN like a BOSS
dean so casual ‘took you long enough’ a thin thin facade of cool over a BOILING LAVA VOLCANO of tearful relief
the way sam collapses in the hallway like a puppet with its strings cut
seriously that last moment slays me so bad
the crinkliness of sam’s wan face as he stumbles back to the car at the end of the episode
all the weight of knowledge and familiarity in sam’s question to dean (’what did you do, when you thought i was dead?’), dean’s answer (’i knew you weren’t dead’) (FOOLING NOBODY), and sam’s decision to just let it be
literally this episode by and of itself makes the whole of season 11 worthwhile. they should just have screened this episode every week. it’s like a fanfic come to life. if supernatural went this hard every week i wouldn’t even be able to hold down a job i would have to full time fangirl so hard
codependentsamanddean prompt: “Sam you can be whatever you want to be. You’re not Dean. You’re not your dad. You’re Sam. Sam is so awesome.” -(Sully, Just My Imagination 11×08)
This is my second ever icon set and is a bit experimental in terms of color and such, but I had fun chronicling all the adorable and adorably weird faces Sam makes in this episode. The middle one is there because I love the colors in that scene and had to make something with it. Feel free to use them!
(◡‿◡✿) He died for their world once, without complaint, even after he got his soul back and went insane. “A lot of people got it worse.”
(◡‿◡✿) He was so broken after Dean exploded to Purgatory that he could only drive and find some semblance of a life and try not to break it like he did everything else: the world, his family, and, most importantly, Dean’s trust.
(◡‿◡✿) After Dean came back, Sam, by now, had internalized all of his guilt and self-hatred to the point where he would do anything to be enough, to earn that trust back, to not disappoint him again.
(◡‿◡✿) Sam was glad to do the trials even though he knew it would most likely end in his demise. That light he saw at the end of the tunnel wasn’t for the both of them: it was only for Dean.
(◡‿◡✿) He openly admitted to his mistakes time and time again because he knows he fucked up.
(◡‿◡✿) His confession in the season 8 finale wasn’t to give Dean an ultimatum. It wasn’t to be selfish: it was to explain why he had to do it, why he had to do this one thing without stopping.
(◡‿◡✿) He wanted to do right by Dean for once. He wanted to not be a burden on his brother. He didn’t mind that he turned to others for talk/comfort. What he did mind was how he would never be on that level again because Dean brought up Sam’s mistakes time and time again and treated him as more of a liability.
(◡‿◡✿) He wanted to feel like Dean’s brother again and not this horrible thing that constantly fucked things up.
(◡‿◡✿) Sam wanted his brother back, not meaning that Dean could only ever hang or talk with/to him.
(◡‿◡✿) He wanted to be forgiven. He wanted to redeem himself in whatever way he could but Sam thought it could never happen.
(◕‿◕✿) Could you imagine someone you loved treating you like you still need to pay up for something you apologized for a thousand times over? Watching them smile for someone else? Never trusting you again?
(◕‿◕✿) Sam’s internal monologue: I get it. I do. And it’s…it’s fine, you know? I’m fine. I’ll make it up to you somehow, I promise. I won’t fail again, Dean, I swear.
(◕‿◕✿) He resigned himself to death. “So?“
(◕‿◕✿) He is an incredibly selfless, humble person. “I’m the least of any of you.”
(◕‿◕✿) Sam Winchester is wonderful human being.
(ʘ‿ʘ✿) Talkin’ shit about Sam Winchester doesn’t fly with this chick. (ʘ‿ʘ✿)
Backup bloh 