I want to talk about the look in Dean’s eyes when Sam doesn’t know he’s looking. About how his mouth softens, and his eyes get really gentle, and years fall away between the two of them, because Sammy will always be every age he’s ever been to Dean, each one of them filled with precious and bittersweet memories. He just loves his little brother so.fucking.much.
What do you want to talk about?
Those times also remind me of the times Dean will crack a joke. He knows it’s corny, he knows it’s low-hanging fruit, but he just can’t help it. He’d do anything to see that boy smile. And then he pauses after he’s said it and looks closely to Sam for his reaction. Did I make him smile? Did I bring joy and amusement to that already breath-taking face? Did those eyes crinkle and glimmer because I made them do that?
And then he’s lost again for a few moments.
It’s not until they’re adults that Sam really notices the way his brother tends to hyper-focus on anything he’s working on at a given moment- most notably, when he’s reading. Dean’s not a big fan of research, typically, but if he gets deep into a book, he’ll be completely absorbed by it to the point of ignoring the world around him. He’ll mumble to himself, sometimes, or grunt at Sam if Sam tries to ask him a question, but until he’s done what he’s doing- or until Sam puts some real effort into bringing him back to the real world- he’s stuck there, seemingly intent on blocking out every possible distraction.
Shortly after Sam learns this, he decides to do a little experiment.
If what he’s looking at isn’t especially old, delicate, or valuable, Dean will sometimes eat while he reads. A bag of chips here, some popcorn there. Whatever he’s got around, and whatever he can eat with one hand while he uses the other to turn the pages. He doesn’t even seem to think about it, most times; Sam’s caught him coming up empty-handed from snack bowls only to reach inside again, apparently not registering that they’re empty at all.
So one day, Sam brings his brother an apple.
He doesn’t speak, knowing full well that Dean will probably not hear him. He’s got his feet kicked up in the library and an old mythology text in his lap, looking like he’s got no intention of leaving the well-creased chair that he’s claimed as his own. He doesn’t have any food with him at the moment, and Sam figures he can fix that.
Sam comes up beside his brother, Granny Smith in hand, and gently places in Dean’s free hand. He watches Dean’s fingers curl around it reflexively, and Dean doesn’t so much as glance up from his book- in fact, just as Sam steps back to watch, Dean lifts the apple to his mouth and takes a bite.
Sam grins and leaves him to it.
Dean doesn’t have the healthiest diet in the world- with every year that passes, Sam’s fear of his brother having a sudden heart attack increases further- but this quickly becomes Sam’s favourite way of getting some fruit and vegetables into Dean without needing to fight him on it. Dean never really seems to notice what he’s eating as long as he’s absorbed in a book, and Sam takes full advantage of it. For the good of his brother’s health, of course.
(It’s also the perfect opportunity to kickstart their old prank wars, should the need arise, but Sam decides to tuck that away for the next time Dean steals his nice shampoo.)
“You know, the weirdest thing happened when I woke up,” Dean tells him a couple weeks after it starts, and he’s got a furrow in his brow that’s more confused than concerned, and when Sam asks him what’s up, he says “I was really craving an apple, you know? Not a pie or anything, just… a fruit.”
Sam snickers at the face Dean makes at that, then points him towards the fruit bowl.
Hell, it’s for the greater good. Even if he needs to be sneaky about it.
Backup bloh 